The Loki Project: Thor's Crazy Idea
by RjDemon213
Summary: Thor has an idea. That's never good! So he starts to kiss up to the team. But his IDEA. Is outrageous. Utterly impossible. Or is it?
1. Pancakes for Breakfast!

**What up? This idea I'm super scared of. It came to me in a dream so I decided to share it. But I am scared. Very scared.**

**OoOoOoO**

The Avenger's mansion was quiet and dark. Steve tossed and turned in his bottom bunk trying so hard to fall asleep. Bruce snored above him.

_Stupid budget cuts_. He thought, thinking about the man that could easily turn into a huge green rage monster above him. _A famous billionaire like Tony couldn't afford to "build another room for his office" so he had to move me out of my room and into here! _

As he ranted on in his head about his problems a knock on the door startled him. He shot his head at the door.

"Steeeeeeevvvvve..?" Thor's voice echoed. Steve relaxed.

"What Thor?" He asked looking at the alarm clock that read 2:27am. Seconds past. _No answer?_ He sat up wondering what just happened. "Thor?" He asked again. Nothing. Concluding that Thor was either deaf or dead he walked to the door, opened it and peered out. No Thor.

"What the hell?" He asked himself aloud.

"Rogers! Its 2:30 in the morning go back to bed!" Banner yelled from the top bunk. Steve went to bed completely confused.

**OoOoOoO**

As Tony walked out of his room to get his breakfast he saw Natasha and Clint eating pancakes at the table. "And you didn't make any for me?" He asked putting his hands to his hips.

"We didn't make them." Natasha shot back pointing at the asgardian standing in the kitchen.

"Oh don't worry, Sir Stark! I shall make you these fine milking circles of deliciousness!" Thor cheered as he started to whip up another batch.

Tony glanced at Clint and Natasha. They shrugged.

Bruce and Steve walked in with hungry faces and sat down.

Clint glanced at Steve and chuckled. "Get any sleep last night, Rogers?"

Steve tiredly looked at Hawkeye, "Not really."

Thor skipped over and served the pancakes. When he sat down the tray he revealed his pink apron with hearts on it and the words. "Kiss The Chef". "I'd rather not" Clint said repulsively.

Thor clapped his hands together excitedly. "I have surprises for you!" he chimed and ran to a box in the corner. Tony, drinking a beer from the fridge, stared at the prancing asgardian.

"I have never been so terrified in my life." Tony stated. Thor ran back to us with the box and a huge grin the size Russia. And Russia is biiiiig.

"For you" Thor chanted as he handed each one of them something.

"This is kind of insulting," Bruce declared putting on the foam Hulk Hands Thor had handed him. "Are my hand really THIS big?"

Tony walked by him, "Bigger actually" he stated picking up the plastic toy Iron Man glove. "Just, why? Insult me, they shouldn't."

"Okay, Yoda." Clint teased Tony. Clint picked up the plastic arrow and foam arrows. "Mine is so much cooler…"

Cap held up the shield with the plastic disk launcher. "Why doesn't mine do that? Tony!"

"Uhh, sorry. Don't have the money for that." Tony replied unusually choppy. Obviously, a lie. But Steve didn't catch it.

Steve turned his head 90° to see a giant TV that looked expensive. "Is that a new TV?" he asked very annoyed. When the thought accured._ He has the money. Just doesn't want to use it on me…_ then seconds later, the next thought: _Why was Thor being more like a pansy than usual?_


	2. Avengers Perfume and Gucci Cologne

**Hey thanks for the reviews! Keep them coming. This story is just for fun. But a lot of you have really liked it so…**

**Back to the story!**

**OoOoOoO**

Thor finally left the room and the team immediately sat around the table. "This really doesn't make any sense..." Clint stated lifting up his foam arrows. "Why would he give us these?"

"I wouldn't complain," Natasha said bitterly.

Noticing Natasha didn't say anything about her "gift", Tony stared at her. "Wait, what did he give you?" He asked but she turned away. Clint, being that he was sitting right next to her, looked at her lap at the item, or items, she was hiding. He started laughing.

"Shut up, Barton!" She snapped, her face going red.

"It can't be that bad." Bruce tried to sympathize.

"Oh yes it can!" Clint mocked. Tony ran over and pulled her chair out to see the mystery items.

"Tony!" Tasha yelled trying to hide the gifts but Clint and Tony were too fast.

"Oh, sweet mother of a billionaire," Tony said holding back laughter. "It's perfume!" Steve looked at him confused.

"What's wrong with perfume?" Steve asked not understanding the laughter.

"You tell me Cap!" Tony chimed, handing him one of the bottles with Steve's face on it and then looking at the Iron Man bottle. "What the hell? This is so wrong!"

Tasha, between slamming her head into the table repeatedly, gestured to Asgardian walking back into the room. Tony handed Natasha back her perfumes and sat back in his chair.

**OoOoOoO**

The rest of the day was filled with awkward gimmicks and services by the Asgardian with golden locks.

That night, Steve was getting ready for bed. As he was going through his pajamas he noticed a new pair at the top of the drawer. _What the hell?_ He asked himself. They were black and soft but what was strange was they were covered in Captain America shields._ I am not this conceded I swear._ He told himself, _THOR~!_

**OoOoOoO**

The end of the week came. Just an ordinary week filled with football games on T.V., training, and who can forget the prancing Asgardian kissing their butts.

Bruce and Tony sat on the couch watching the football game, not-so-quietly, as Clint plopped between them. "He's up to something." Clint stated bleakly.

"What?" Bruce asked caught off guard.

"I'm pretty sure he's referring to the oversized Asgardian princess" Tony answered obviously annoyed by Thor's compulsive antics.

"Yeah, him." Clint stated.

"Well, we'll find out sooner or later." Tony said getting excited for a touchdown.

"Sir, Thor Odinson left a message." Chimed J.A.R.V.I.S. from somewhere in the building.

"Read it then." Tony yelled.

"As you wish, Sir. It says: Had to go to back to Asgard. Be back soon"

The team cheered or let out a sigh of relief. "Sometime away from the Butt Kisser." Steve said relieved.

"At least he didn't actually kiss your butt." Natasha growled. The teamed wide eyed her. "It happened in Russia…"

Tony got up to grab another beer. "Russia sounds fun" he said 80% sarcastically. As he walked back he passed Steve. He paused and grabbed Steve by the shoulders. He sniffed the air. "Are you wearing Gucci cologne?"


End file.
